Amanda DeSimone – Medium

Amanda DeSimone

Confessions of a Potential Bastard Cop

How I’d Use the Badge to Crack Down on Middle-Aged Schlubs with Pretty Young Things

Feb 26, 2021

Confessions of a Potential Bastard Cop

Feb 26, 2021

A Taste of the ‘80s

My sister and I spent summer weekdays with a dozen other kids at a woman’s house in Upstate New York until the moment I witnessed the…

Jan 30, 2021

A Taste of the ‘80s

Jan 30, 2021

Eat Me, Trollop

When I was a high school freshman, someone called my house’s landline at 2am on a Saturday morning. The ringing in my parents’ room woke…

Jan 15, 2021

Eat Me, Trollop

Jan 15, 2021

Midwestern Discomfort

One hot, humid and downright disgusting week into my first semester of college, and I was already hobbled by injury. I sat outside the…

Jan 6, 2021

Midwestern Discomfort

Jan 6, 2021

In the Valley of Fire

You’re hoping to log ten miles of running toward your ultramarathon training, but you and your sister only make it five in the 100-degree…

Apr 10, 2019

In the Valley of Fire

Apr 10, 2019

The Delta Dildo Dilemma

My sister and I were at LAX trying to check our luggage when the Delta agent claimed that my sister had never checked in and that it was…

Feb 28, 2018

The Delta Dildo Dilemma

Feb 28, 2018

Not Without My Tumor

Last summer, I found a lump and had a needle biopsy, and it was diagnosed as a benign breast condition for which my doctor prescribed…

Feb 19, 2018

Not Without My Tumor

Feb 19, 2018

Amanda DeSimone

Amanda DeSimone

I make music videos about stuff like vodka tampons and write about things like becoming obsessed with my excised tumor: amandaisbored.com

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